I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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