Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
