Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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