Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
