If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She even gives head with a lisp.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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