have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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