i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
