Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
