i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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