Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got inside last night via doggy door
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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