now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
