he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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