Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
