Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
