i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
