Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
