she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
