Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
