It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
