thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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