my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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