Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just want to make out with him forever
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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