no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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