I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
