Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
