I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
