Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
