Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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