he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
