I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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