i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
