Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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