dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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