You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
