Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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