everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
