I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What drink are we having for lunch?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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