Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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