I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize