i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
