South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
