I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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