The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
