We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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