If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
