Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
