im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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