it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Michael Bay diarrhea
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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