wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize