six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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