the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
