how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
