We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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