New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
