They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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