I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
