isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
