If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
