Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize