Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
