I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm too high and old for this...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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